Saturday, March 28, 2009

Daniel Hannan a Statesman the Republican Party could use!... from Frank Collins and Bob Austin

I had heard this several times this week and just assumed most everyone had, until I asked a blog reader today and he said he was not familiar with it. Mr. Hannan says what a majority of people think about their governments, but somehow we put the same idiots back in office.

Enjoy the video.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Emil sends in a Gem from the Left Coast

Dear IRS,

I'm sorry to inform you that I'm not going to be able to pay
the taxes owed on April 15th, but all is not lost.

I paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax,
CDL tax, corporate income tax, dog license tax, federal income tax,
unemployment tax, gas tax, hunting license tax, fishing license
tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor
tax, luxury tax, Medicare tax, city tax, school and county property
tax up to 33% the last four years. Real estate tax, Social Security
tax, road use tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax,
recreational vehicle tax, sales franchise tax, state unemployment
tax, federal excise tax, telephone tax, telephone federal state and
local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax,
telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle tax,
registration tax, capital gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and
gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming,
Oklahoma, Mexico sales tax and many more I can't recall and I've
run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15th, just know that it was an
honest mistake. Please treat me the same as the way you've treated
Congressman Charlie Rangel, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, ex-congressman
Tom Daschle and, of course, your boss, Timothy Geithner.

No penalties, no interest.

Ed Barnett, Wichita Falls

PS, I'll make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus

Obama Keeps Campaign Promise and Ends War on Terror... by Mark

Well it is true, Obama is finally keeping a Campaign Promise that will surely make the libbies get a tingle up their leg like Chris Matthews on Hard Boiled.

No more War on Terror!!! That's right the War is officially over!!!

As a matter of fact the word Terrorist does not exist anymore. It might antagonize the Terrorist so we don't use it any longer. Don't believe me? Watch the verbal pretzels the President and his Administration twist themselves into to try not to use it.

You see it might offend the people who given the chance would tie your hands behind your back, push you to your knees, pull your head back with a hand full of your hair, and cut your head off, leaving your life gurgling out in a puddle around you. On the bright side they do make it easier for the libbies to bury their heads in the sand.

Hey ask Danny Pearl among others including some of our troops.

While the last few drops splash onto the ground.... Obama and his Director of Homeland Security, the lady charged with keeping you safe from the Terro.... er... uh... funny dressed meanies, have decided to rename "The War on Terror" the "Overseas Contingency Operation."

See, now doesn't that make you "feel" better. It sounds more like you got back late to the dock and your cruise ship had just sailed than you are at war.

I think I just felt a tingle up my leg.... nope... gotta go, that was a tinkle down my leg...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Red State Boys funny stuff

The Red State Boys again..... Language Language Language but funny

Red State Out Takes... made me tear up

AIG Bailout...

How to Fix the Economy from Katie Sheriff

"How Would You Fix the Economy?"

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"

This article was one of the ideas submitted...

Dear Mr. President,

Patriotic retirement: There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force - pay them $1 million apiece severance with the following stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings -Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

Can't get any easier than that!

Jim Wright
Phoenix USA, Inc.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

A New Version of the Boss Letter from Jenni Hall


As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that
Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will
increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by
about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees

This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I
didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six
'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks
will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach
this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This is Funny...and True.... from Frank Collins

Anne McKinney is a Knoxville, Tennessee attorney who cut her teeth as an IRS Staff Attorney. She composed and sang this for the attending attorneys at a continuing legal education seminar.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Old sent by Frank Collins

If you like my occasional prose, check this gentleman out. We are twin brothers born 12 years apart..... How did Mom do that....

Funny.... Humans are Lame.... from Al Zalecki

Humans are lame. I remember about 15 years ago while making a sales call on a Nuclear Pharmacist he was microwaving his lunch and was extremely frustrated that he had to wait 2 minutes. I had to point it out to him and he just laughed and seemed to relax for a half life......

Obama and W meet the Marines ... from Betty Blakley

Comparison of two American Presidents and their reception by the Marines.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Funny from Louis Herford

It contains the F-Bomb so if you are easily offended like little Move-on dot Bob, Move-on....

The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a 'more humane' solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said,
'Son, I don't think you understand our problem. Those coyotes ain't fuckin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em!'

Dear Democrats... from Durward Owen

This gives you hope that maybe the lawyers want take us completely down the tubes...


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUVs, pic kup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?

If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..


John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

Dear President Obama.... from Bob Austin

Dear President Obama,

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know the one's down the street who in the good times refinanced their house several times and bought SUV's, ATV's, RV"s, a pool, a big screen, two Wave Runners and a Harley. But I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?

Richard Ford
Queen Creek AZ

P.S. They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want me to start making those payments?
P.P.S. I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax return this year. Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Just the Facts by Mark

June 4, 2008 Obama wins Democrat Nomination Stock Market Closes at 12,390.
Nov. 3, 2008 Obama wins Election Stock Market Closes at 9325.
Jan. 20, 2009 Obama is Inaugurated Stock Market Closes at 8281.
Mar. 5, 2009 Stimulus, Budget and Health Care Summit Stock Market Closes at 6763.

Down 45%. The Stock Market votes everyday.

I am a little slow, but I am starting to believe in the "Change We Can Believe In."

Two polls CNN last week said 73% of the people are scared and think we are going in the wrong direction. Gallop last week said 59% of the people think Obama is doing a good job.

So to simplify this 73% think we are on the bus driving off the cliff, but 59% like the bus driver.

You just won a million bucks from The Taxpayers Clearing House... from Eric Heavner

This is hilarious. A must watch. Another great one from Eric Heavner.

Historical Truth Bouncing off a Soft Skull.... From Tim Blackwell and Al Zalecki

Phil Donohue takes on Milton Friedman. 2 minutes

Visualize a Trillion Dollars.....From Eric Heavner

There goes Free Speach.... from Frank Collins

Remember Obama saying he has visited 57 states?
Nobody cares when Christianity is maligned.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Lincoln and Obama Similarities Intersting from Mom by way of Doris Lund

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible.
2. Lincoln came from Illinois . Obama comes from Illinois .
3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.
4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.
5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.
6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer.
7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer.
8. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer.
9. Lincoln was born in the United States . Obama is a skinny lawyer.
10. Lincoln was honest, so honest he was called Honest Abe. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

Couple of Funnys from Janet Rusk

Members of Congress should be compelled to

wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we

could identify their corporate sponsors.